Convicted Civility: A Christian Option in Political Division

Learning from Jesus in an Age of Antagonism

In this era of unprecedented political polarization, vehement disagreement has become an unfortunate norm. Deep ideological rifts have emerged, and the intensity of disagreement continues to escalate. While the heightened passion is understandable, our capacity for meaningful discourse is eroding, causing these ideological divides to widen further. This raises vital questions about the possibility of maintaining both strong convictions and genuine dialogue. Can we disagree in ways that bridge divides rather than deepen them? Would this even be possible?

When Conviction Overcomes Charity

Several years ago, I found myself in a conversation with an acquaintance who held theological views I considered fundamentally incompatible with orthodox Christianity. Throughout our discussion, something familiar to many believers happened: I began questioning this person’s integrity, character, and motives. Their value as a human being became compromised in my eyes, all because we disagreed over theological concepts important to me.

Ooph, Lord have mercy.

This reveals a disturbing pattern that often plays out daily in workplaces, churches, and online. When we struggle to maintain civility with fellow believers whom Jesus claims as family, how can we hope to engage meaningfully in the polarizing rhetoric of public discourse?

The Dance of Conviction and Civility

Lutheran scholar Martin Marty observes a telling pattern: people who excel at civility often lack strong convictions, while those with strong convictions often lack civility. This creates an apparent dilemma, as both extremes compromise truth. Truth can be compromised for the sake of being civil, or through lack of civility—being right in all the wrong ways. Lord help us—neither option is appealing.

In his wonderful book Uncommon Decency, Richard Mouw offers a hopeful alternative. He envisions “convicted civility.” We can maintain strong beliefs while engaging respectfully with those who disagree. This vision finds its deepest expression in the way of Jesus.

The Jesus Way

Some might point to Jesus overturning tables or calling his opponents a “brood of vipers” to justify their aggression and shouting over others. In these moments, Jesus does stand in line with the prophetic tradition of challenging the corrupt status quo. But is this a baseline for how we might approach today’s public discourse? Maybe. Then again, maybe not.

These instances of Jesus’ aggression in the Gospels stand out precisely because they differ from his typical approach. Jesus more often responds to disagreement with grace, tact, and truth. As James writes, “the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.” While Jesus alone could exercise perfectly righteous anger, our anger errs due to our human limitations and sinfulness.

Jesus’ convicted civility shines most clearly in his radical inclusiveness and exclusiveness. He freely engaged with people where they were, dining with societal outcasts without condemnation—living gracefully in the tension between their lifestyles and his convictions. His inclusivity coexisted with clear ethical vision, offering a model for engaging difference without sacrificing principle.

While Jesus was radically inclusive, he was also radically exclusive: he drew the boundary markers around himself—inviting any and everyone into his kingdom but on his terms. Think about the challenge of his words to the woman caught in adultery, “Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more.” This paradox provides a framework for our own engagement with others. We can welcome everyone while maintaining clear convictions about truth. We can disagree fundamentally while treating others with profound dignity. We can hold firm boundaries while keeping our hearts and dialogue open. Unlike Jesus, however, in our dialogue we may discover that we’ve been wrong about a matter or two—or, at the very least, misunderstood where the disagreement actually lies.

Learning from the Cross

This tension between truth and grace finds its fullest expression at the cross, where Mouw’s wisdom becomes particularly poignant. He offers this guideline for civility:

“Concentrate on your own sinfulness and on the other person’s humanness.”

Chew on that one for a moment or two.

This reflects the cross.

At Calvary, we see our own corruption, rebellion, and misplaced convictions, dismantling any sense of superiority and placing us all on level ground. Simultaneously, the cross reveals every person’s immeasurable worth to God—the lengths to which divine love will go for human redemption.

The cross speaks two truths simultaneously:

We are more broken than we dare admit, and …

We are more loved than we dare dream.

This double reality transforms how we view both ourselves and others in our disagreements. When we grasp how profound our own brokenness is, our self-righteousness can only crumble. When we glimpse how deeply God loves those we oppose, our disdain begins to dissolve. This view point undergirds James warning about the human tongue, “With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness.” No wonder we better be “quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”

The Path of Convicted Civility

Convicted civility blossoms when we hold together what the cross reveals about both our brokenness and the value of those with whom we disagree, let alone those who outright oppose us. This perspective opens several possibilities:

• Allows us to hold truth while keeping conversations open

• Invites us to consider that our understanding might be incomplete

• Encourages alternatives to personal attacks

• Reminds us that disagreement doesn’t diminish human value

• Inspires us to extend the grace we’ve received

These aren’t merely theoretical principles. They reshape our practical engagement with others. When we remember our own brokenness, we speak with humility rather than condescension. When we recall others’ belovedness, we listen with genuine curiosity rather than merely waiting for our turn to speak. When we hold both conviction and civility together, we can engage in difficult conversations with both courage and respect.

The Gift of Civil Dialogue

When we embrace humble, loving dialogue, unexpected learning becomes possible. The posture of civility creates space for mutual growth and enables us to truly hear each others’ perspectives. It can nurture conversations that remain gentle even in disagreement. And sometimes we will remain at odds. Disagreements can be irreconcilable. But what if we came to these impasses in such a way that our love and character remain in-tact?

I believe this posture reflects our Saviour’s character and way of life. It can transform all our relationships—with both fellow believers and ideological opponents. Jesus’ own example invites us toward a humility like his own. The apostle Paul captures this spirit in Romans, "Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought," and in Philippians, “in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” After all, it is the meek/humble who will inherit the earth. While this posture might challenge our natural inclinations, we follow One who embodies deep conviction alongside patient and humble grace.

An Invitation Forward

The beauty of convicted civility lies in its power to honour truth while fostering genuine connection. In our politically charged environment, this approach opens a way forward that neither compromises our beliefs nor diminishes our witness through unnecessary antagonism. The Christian community has an opportunity to demonstrate how disagreement might lead to deeper understanding rather than division—how strong convictions can coexist with genuine respect for the image of God in others.

What might this look like in practice? It often begins simply:

• Refraining from name calling

• Representing others’ views as they would express them

• Extending charitable interpretations of others’ motives

• Speaking with gentleness and respect

• Focusing on our own limitations and others’ dignity

Convicted civility naturally draws us back to the foot of the cross, where we remember both our own brokenness and the extraordinary worth Christ sees in every person. Our disagreements, while remaining real and significant, can become opportunities for witness rather than occasions for warfare. Here we find that truth and love need not compete—they can dance together in the light of grace, showing a watching world that there is another way forward, even in our deepest divisions.

May it be so, by grace, in the power of the Spirit.