Thank you to everyone who helped launch Longing for Joy into the world! I’m excited to announce our gift basket winners. Brace yourself! Drumroll please …

• Jeff de Castro

• Julie Smith

• Anna Schatz

A big congratulation to our winners: You’ll receive a separate email with prize details. And, yet another big thank you to everyone who participated in The Joy Refuge.

The impact of your generosity is already blooming. This morning, a couple who took part in the Joy Refuge forwarded me a note. They shared their copy of Longing for Joy with a friend, who wrote to them:

I had to jump in and tell you how much I am being impacted by Longing for Joy! I bought my own copy because I HAD TO highlight so many lines. Your copy is safe and unmarked! Talk more when I'm done it. But thanks for sharing it with me.

This ripple effect is exactly why we do this work together. Your support through pre-orders, reviews, and social shares has been incredible. For those still planning to write a review (cough—about half of our Joy Refuge community—cough), there’s still time to help the book reach more readers. Rather than feel guilty for not following through yet, take that step today—or soon, please! Every review makes a difference, no matter how brief.

Thank you for being part of this journey to help others discover the possibility of joy.

OH! One more thing—I’m trying to keep the momentum going. If you have thoughts about how I could promote my book, connections to speaking events or podcasts, or random ideas, please leave a comment. I’m all ears!

With gratitude,

Alastair

We just passed the one week milestone.
My book has launched.
We’ve celebrated together.
And you’ve shown me incredible support.

Thank you.

My heart is full with gratitude as I read your responses to Longing for Joy. I’m honoured that you’re not just reading this book—you’re engaging with it deeply, personally, and beautifully. Your words have moved me and confirmed my deepest hope: the invitation of joy is finding a resting place in your heart and life.

One person shared how the book feels like “a gentle conversation with a wise friend,” while another expressed relief in discovering that joy isn’t meant to be “a state of constant being.” I've smiled at comments about the book feeling like sitting “around a coffee table,” and how many of you have found yourselves with “a joyful, wry smile” when our stories overlap.

Your vulnerability in sharing your own journeys with joy—and joylessness—has created a remarkable space for meaningful conversation. Thank you for the gift of your words. The time you’ve given to my book and your thoughtful reflections are such an encouragement to me.

Keep Sharing the Joy

I want to invite you to share another moment from your journey with Longing for Joy. Even if you've posted before, consider sharing again because you can still help more people encounter my book! Here are some ideas:

• Record a brief video sharing how a particular passage has influenced your perspective on joy

• Share a quote that has stayed with you (maybe something you underlined)

• Tell the story of where you're reading the book and how that space brings you joy

• Reflect on how your understanding of joy has shifted since starting the book

Remember to tag me (@alastairsterne on Instagram, @asterne on Facebook) and use our hashtag #LongingForJoy. Each share creates another ripple that might reach someone who needs this message.

Extended Deadline

Several people have mentioned to me that they are still working through the book, so, I’m extending the gift basket deadline. I want to ensure everyone has the space to engage fully with the book and share their honest thoughts, whether through reviews or social media posts.

Remember, you can still enter the drawing by:

• Writing a review on Amazon, Goodreads, or Barnes & Noble

• Sharing about the book on social media

• Gifting a copy to someone else

The winners of our joy-sparking gift baskets will now be announced on November 25th.

Thank you for opening your eyes, hearts, and minds to this journey. Keep sharing, keep engaging, and let’s continue tilling the soil together—because joy will bloom in due time!

With deep gratitude,
Alastair

I hope you’ve enjoyed beginning Part Three of Longing for Joy. I’ve enjoyed our conversations and I am looking forward to connecting again later today. If you haven’t already, register for the 30-minute Virtual Q&A on Zoom. It starts at 5:30pm PDT.

Join the Q&A

Can you believe it? Longing for Joy is hitting the shelves next Tuesday! I’m pinching myself. This book has been my heart and soul for years, and now it’s finally time to share it with the world. I’m full of gratitude for each of you who’ve taken the time to read it and offered to help me with this launch. You all mean the world to me!

I have a special request for this weekend.

Would you mind setting aside a few moments to pray for our book launch? I’m dreaming big—I’d love to see Longing for Joy take off and touch as many lives as possible. But here's the vulnerable part … could you also pray for me? While this is such an exciting milestone, I’ll admit it’s also stirring up some butterflies. You know how it goes—a little voice of insecurity and doubt creeping in.

Your prayers would mean more to me than you know.

I'll be popping into your inbox early next week with some specific ways you can help with the launch. But for now, knowing you’re lifting up Longing for Joy (and me) in prayer? That's the best launch team action I could ask for!

Thank you, from the bottom of my heart: thank you!

May we have eyes to see joy and hearts ready to be apprehended by her.

I discovered the practice of gratitude in my darkest season of depression, and during a time where I was feeling more ungrateful than grateful. Previously I approached gratitude as a more ad hoc practice. It wasn’t intentional. So, I started a gratitude journal. I bought a five-year journal. Each page is devoted to one day of the year and subdivided into five sections. I love this because as time goes by, past entries can be read as new ones are written.

At the end of each day, I write in my gratitude journal (most of the time). At first I would write down basic things I was thankful for such as my daughters smiles, a good night’s sleep, or time spent with a friend. On darker days, all I could muster were bullet point lists like: toothpaste, oxygen, and a home. Over the years, this practice has deepened. I try to give thanks for moments of joy and identify specific moments of God’s presence in my day.

Since I’ve used this journal for a few years, I find that I feel gratitude and joy all over again as I read previous entries. For example, here is what I have written on September 9:

2016 – Two opportunities to share faith. My mom being in town. Your Spirit going ahead of me. Maggie taking some of her first steps. Colin being in town.

2017 – Daddy and daughters’ day while Julia had the day to herself. Jon in town. Premarital with Julie and Steven. The truth that you always pursue us. Time with Alida and her new boyfriend. Swinging Maggie by her hands and feet and her repeating, “Do it again!”

2018 – “Although we are weeping help us keep sowing, the seeds of your kingdom for the day of your reaping” made me cry during worship. Sarah’s prophetic image of a woman’s arm around my back providing comfort— immediately thought of Julia and my counsellor. A day of prayer answered for encouragement through Don, Gogo, and Paul.

2018 – The joy of gospel partnership with Preston. A little bit of progress on Rhythms For Life revisions. Ansley’s first soccer practice and fun as a family.

Gratitude draws me closer to the generous heart of God. Gratitude has changed me. I have become a more joyous person and less afraid of painful moments.1

Sticking with the Possibility of Joy

As we dive into this week’s readings, I'm excited to share with you some of my favourite places where joy sneaks into our lives. These final chapters hold a special place in my heart. I had an absolute blast researching and writing Chapter 19—you’ll see how creation itself is bursting with joy, and it’s such an incredible gift to explore! But my chapter on gratitude is the one that really resonates with me personally. Through my own experiences, I've discovered how gratitude can build onramps to joy, helping us stay attuned to her presence in our everyday moments. I can't wait for you to step into these joy-filled pathways alongside me!

We’re almost finished! You’re in the final stretch. This week we will finish up Part 3: The Possibility of Joy and read the epilogue. I hope the book has been helpful to you and is drawing you closer to the presence of joy.

Monday → Chapter 18: Serve and Chapter 19: Creation

Tuesday → Chapter 20: Suffering and Chapter 21: Gratitude

Wednesday → Chapter 22: Time

Thursday → Epilogue: An Ever-Widening Circle of Joy

I am looking forward to seeing you at 5:30pm PDT on Thursday October 17th for our Virtual Q&A on Zoom for our last virtual Q&A! These have been such life-giving conversations and I hope you’ll join us this week!

Register for Q&A

If you live in Victoria …

Coastline Church is hosting my book launch party and I would love to celebrate with you! Mark your calendar for Wednesday, October 30th at 7:00pm. There’ll be live music, desserts, and I’ll share about why I wrote the book. Please come and say Hi! All the details are available here.

Come to the Launch Party

Before you pick up the book: Grab a pen, or open a note on your phone. Here’s something to ponder:

What are you grateful for today? Do you any regular have any habits of gratitude?

Share your thoughts below. I really would love to hear from you and get a conversation going before our Q&A.

Grace and peace to you this week!

I hope you’ve enjoyed beginning Part Three of Longing for Joy. I’ve enjoyed our conversations and I am looking forward to connecting again later today. If you haven’t already, register for the 30-minute Virtual Q&A on Zoom. It starts at 5:30pm PDT.

Join the Q&A

We’ve begun exploring some of the places where joy often shows up: when we make our home in Christ, tell our story within the gospel, get wisdom, behold people, and welcome every emotion.

Here’s an exercise to try:

Take a few minutes this weekend.

First, choose one area to reflect on: home, storytelling, wisdom, people, or emotions.

Second, ask the Holy Spirit to help you look back over your past week. Were there moments of joy, even small ones, in this part of your life?

Finally, ask Jesus to fill you with the Holy Spirit afresh, and ask for a deeper experience of his joy in the area you chose.

May we have eyes to see joy and hearts ready to be apprehended by her.

A few years ago, a letter by C.S. Lewis was discovered tucked away in a second-hand book. Can you imagine making that discovery? Written before the release of his memoir Surprised by Joy, the letter offers an early glimpse into his reflections on joy. In it, Lewis wrote:

Real joy jumps under one’s ribs and tickles down one’s back and makes one forget meals and keeps one (delightedly) sleepless o’ nights.

It’s such a vivid image of how joy bubbles up unexpectedly and leaves her mark on us. Later, in Surprised by Joy, Lewis sharpened his vision of joy. He writes:

Joy must be sharply distinguished both from Happiness and Pleasure. Joy has indeed one characteristic, and one only, in common with them; the fact that anyone who has experienced it will want it again. I doubt whether anyone who has tasted it would ever, if both were in his power, exchange it for all the pleasures in the world. But then Joy is never in our power and Pleasure often is.

Regardless of whether we make a distinction between joy and happiness in this way, I long for the kind of joy Lewis describes. Don’t you? Not just a flash of happiness or fleeting pleasure—but a deep embodiment of joy that seems to fill every part of you. The kind that jumps inside of us, tickling our ribs, lighting a smile of the mind, and gifting us with laughter of the heart.

But there’s a tension here.

Joy isn’t something we can command ourselves to feel. Because joy speaks in the middle-voice.1 Joy is beyond our control, unlike pleasure, which we often can pursue and grasp. But in the world of the gospel, the good news of great joy, we always live on the threshold of joy—and this makes joy an ever-present possibility.

The Possibility of Joy

While joy is ultimately a gift we receive, there are attitudes and habits that can align our hearts to be more receptive to joy. This week, we’ll begin to look at the moments where joy often shows up—the spaces where she loves to elbow her way in. We’ll explore how we can nurture our lives to be more attuned to the gift of joy, living with anticipation, ready and waiting for the moment when she whispers, “Come! Hear! See! Look what I’m doing!”

We are now at the halfway point of Longing for Joy: An Invitation into the Goodness and Beauty of Life. Well done! This week we begin Part 3: The Possibility of Joy.

Monday → Chapter 12: A Possibility and Chapter 13: Home

Tuesday → Chapter 14: Storytelling and Chapter 15: Wisdom

Wednesday → Chapter 16: People

Thursday → Chapter 17: Emotion

Work through these chapters at any pace you want. But, as you know by now, it helps to have finished the reading plan by 5:30pm PDT on Thursday October 17th for our Virtual Q&A on Zoom. If you haven’t already, register for the Q&A. A reminder will be sent on Thursday morning too.

Register for Q&A

If you live in Victoria …

Coastline Church is hosting my book launch party and I would love to celebrate with you! Mark your calendar for Wednesday, October 30th at 7:00pm. There’ll be live music, desserts, and I’ll share about why I wrote the book. Please come and say Hi! All the details are available here.

Come to the Launch Party

Before you pick up the book: Grab a pen, or open a note on your phone. Here’s something to ponder:

When/where/how do you most naturally experience joy?

Share your thoughts below. I really would love to hear from you and get a conversation going before our Q&A.

Grace and peace to you this week!

I hope you’ve enjoyed reading the Part Two of Longing for Joy. I am really looking forward to connecting with all of you later today. If you haven’t already, register for the 30-minute Virtual Q&A on Zoom. It starts at 5:30pm PDT.

Once again, please don’t worry if you’re behind on your reading: you’re still welcome at the Q&A. You can sit and listen in or ask whatever questions are on your mind.

Join the Q&A

We have leaned close to joy. She tells the story of the Father’s delight in the life of his Son, crucified, and resurrected—and the gift of joy that over flows into us through the Spirit of joy. The Father delights in giving good gifts to us, especially the gift of the Holy Spirit, and Jesus promises to give us the Spirit “without measure.”

Here’s an exercise to try:

Take some time this weekend, even just a few minutes, to dwell with the Spirit.

First, be still. Quiet your mind and soul. Repeat this promise of Jesus to yourself a few times, “My joy may be in you and your joy may be complete.”

Second, ask the Holy Spirit to help you look backward. Think about your past week: Were there small moments of joy that you noticed or even overlooked? Think about your soul: Are you experiencing joylessness, longing for joy, or experiencing joy?

Third, ask Jesus to fill you afresh with the Holy Spirit and for an experience of his joy.

May we have eyes to see joy and hearts ready to be apprehended by her.

Many stories guide our lives. But often our stories are misguided. We can find ourselves woven into undesirable storylines and plot twists. For example, a common story is the performance story. If you grew up in a family or culture where performance and achievements are highly regarded, you may have internalized a story that you are only valuable if you excel and accomplish many things with your life.

Imagine a father who drives his son to school in a luxury car. As his son grabs his backpack and scoots out of the car, the father says without fail, “Be exceptional.” The tone is always positive. He intends to encourage his son. Days accumulate into years as his child internalizes this message. But what is the story?

The father wants more than a son who does well in life. He wants his child to be comparatively better than the rest. He wants him to stand head tall above his peers. This is a performance story. It has the capacity to motivate people to accomplish great things. It also has the strength to crush self-worth. What happens if you aren’t exceptional? Or when you realize there is someone more exceptional than you? Or if you fail? Even if these messages were never his intent, the father wrote a performance story for his son.1

Similarly, we need to pay attention to the story we tell about joy. Some of the stories told about joy can make joy feel out of reach. They’re just another version of a performance story: live your best life, do all you can to choose joy. But this kind of story about joy often over-promises (i.e. you can be joyful non-stop, can’t-stop, won’t stop) and under-delivers (because you still find yourself longing for joy more often than experiencing joy).

But what if the story joy wants to tell isn’t about performance?

What joy’s true story is about an extravagant gift?

After all, the story we live by is the truest story of the universe. We live in the story of Jesus Christ—and his story is good news of great joy. Sometimes, we accidentally downplay the joy that undergirds this story. So, it’s helpful to revisit the story of the gospel and let Joy tell her account of it. Because stories also cultivate our emotions. When we have ears to hear how joy tells the gospel story, we shouldn’t be surprised that our hearts will be apprehended by joy afresh, once more, or yet again.

The Story of Joy, Revealed

Knowing joy as a refuge begins as we listen to the story that joy tells. Joy sings the anthem that creation is good, good, very good—and even proclaims to us good news of great joy. By the end of the week, you’ll know the story of joy as revealed in the life of our Triune God: the Father, Son, and Spirit.

We’ll keep working our way through Longing for Joy: An Invitation into the Goodness and Beauty of Life. This week we move onto Part 2: The Story of Joy.

Monday → Chapter 7: The Father

Tuesday → Chapter 8: The Son

Wednesday → Chapter 9: Crucified and Chapter 10: Resurrected

Thursday → Chapter 11: The Spirit

Once again, you can pace yourself however you want. But try to have finished the reading plan by 5:30pm PDT on Thursday October 10th for our Virtual Q&A on Zoom. If you haven’t already, register for the Q&A. A reminder will be sent on Thursday morning too.

Register for Q&A

… and if you missed last week’s Q&A, no worries! You can catch the conversation here.

Before you pick up the book: Grab a pen, or open a note on your phone. Here’s something to ponder:

Close your eyes. Imagine, if you can, the face of God. What expression do you see on God’s face?

Share your thoughts below. I really would love to hear from you and get a conversation going before our Q&A.

Grace and peace to you this week!

I hope you’ve enjoyed reading the Part One of Longing for Joy. I am really looking forward to connecting with all of you later today. If you haven’t already, register for the 30-minute Virtual Q&A on Zoom. It starts at 5:30pm PDT.

Don’t worry if you’re behind on your reading: you’re still welcome at the Q&A. You can sit and listen in or ask whatever questions are on your mind.

Join the Q&A

Joy is an ever-present possibility. The reality is that we are always living on the threshold of joy. Think about the stories I told in Chapter 1: Presence. They are simple and ordinary: the joy of a bird visiting our lunch break, the joy of dancing, the joy of forgiveness, even the joy of nature.

Here’s an exercise to try:

Take some time this weekend, even just a few minutes, to reflect.

First, be still. Quiet your mind and soul. Repeat this invitation of Jesus to yourself a few times, “As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you, abide in my life.”

Second, ask the Holy Spirit to help you look backward. Think about your own story: When did you last experience joy? What happened? Think about your past week: Were there small moments of joy that you noticed or even overlooked? Think about your soul: Are you experiencing joylessness, longing for joy, or experiencing joy?

Third, ask the Holy Spirit to draw you closer to the possibility of joy.

May we have eyes to see joy and hearts ready to be apprehended by her.

In 1954 Graham Sutherland was commissioned to paint a portrait of Winston Churchill, the Prime Minister who led England through World War II. Upon its completion, the first person to see the portrait was Churchill’s wife, Clementine. In her assessment she said, “It looks really quite alarmingly like him.” However, when the portrait was presented to Churchill his reaction was different. He was deeply upset. He decried the painting as “filthy!” He said it made him look “like a down-and-out drunk who has been picked out of the gutter.”

Eventually Clementine had the painting destroyed.

The artist in me grieves for poor Graham Sutherland.

Churchill saw an uncanny portrait of himself. It was jarring and uncomfortable. But he refused to be forced out of the house of mirrors. Although others felt the portrait was an accurate depiction of him, Churchill preferred a less authentic portrait of himself he held in his mind.1

In the same way, we can choose a less authentic portrait of joy. It’s easier to embrace a reductionistic picture. We prefer joy to show her best side, under the right light, all smiles—a filtered selfie of joy. But as I write in my book:

A more accurate portrait of joy includes the pang—the inconsolable longing and unsatisfied desire that accompanies her. This challenges portraits of joy that focus exclusively on her lightheartedness. Some authors hold forth an impossible task of being joyful and positive all the time. But what is missed in these perspectives toward joy is how she buoys us and cuts through us all at once.2

A More-Honest Portrait of Joy

We kick off The Joy Refuge by getting existential. We are going to explore questions like: Why does joy exist? Why is joy so elusive? And, what does our longing for joy, and even our joylessness, teach us? Think of these questions like paintbrushes and the answers you discover as the paint. By the end of this week, you’ll have a more-honest portrait of joy. Unlike Churchill, I hope you’ll like what you see.

If you haven’t started already, it’s time to begin reading Longing for Joy: An Invitation into the Goodness and Beauty of Life. This week we will work through Part 1: Longing for Joy. You will read the introduction and five chapters. Don’t stress! The chapters in my book are intentionally short and sweet. They take an average reader about 12 minutes to read.

Monday → Introduction and Chapter 1: Presence

Tuesday → Chapter 2: Cultivation and Chapter 3: Absence

Wednesday → Chapter 4: Joylessness and Chapter 5: Longing

Thursday → Chapter 6: Wisdom

Of course, you can pace yourself however you want. But try to have finished these five chapters by 5:30pm PDT on Thursday October 3rd for our Virtual Q&A on Zoom. If you can’t, just try to read Chapter 1, 5, and 6!

While you’re at it, go ahead and register for the Q&A and add the date to your calendar! A reminder will be sent on Thursday morning too.

Register for Q&A

Before you pick up the book: Grab a pen, or open a note on your phone. Here’s something to ponder:

What is joy? And, why is joy so elusive?

Don’t over-think it. Jot down what comes to mind. Ponder it on your own terms. I’d love it if you share your thoughts in the comments below. Let’s chat about it. When the week is over, you’ll get to look back and see if/how your answers have changed. We’ll also talk about these questions at our Q&A on Thursday.

Grace and peace to you this week!

P.S. If you’re receiving this email but didn’t sign up for The Joy Refuge, my apologies! You can remain subscribed to Ordinary Matters and remove yourself from The Joy Refuge emails by updating your subscription settings. If you’d like to join along, message me, and I’ll send you a free digital copy of the book.